Too Much of Nothin'

Things have been a little all-over-the-map for me the past week or so, I sort of derailed a bit and am just starting to get myself sorted out for the millionth time.

In one week I write my macro final, which I am not looking forward to in the least. Well, that's not entirely true. I am sort of looking forward to it because I want this class to be DONE. I am so psyched for my classes in September that this freakin' nightmare of economics is clouding my enthusiasm for education.

I've been suffering from panic attacks, of the mild and crazily intense variety for the past weekish. It's completely freaky and very very scary. But in a way, it is good, as it reminds me of the power i have to overcome them. So i have been making a conscious effort to be real, and as my pal Heather would say, "pozzy".

I'm thinking I'm going to bail on Mick and the boys. My partner in rock and roll crime can't make it and although I have backups that are willing to take her place, let's face it - she can't be replaced that easily. And they just announced that they will sell 10,000 more tickets... i have to admit, that a crowd that large is not that appealing to can't-party-like-i-used-to me.

Today is filled with economics. Filled to the brim and overflowing. I got up early this morning, did some dishes, read the news and am about to crack the books. Wish me luck. Lord knows I need it.

I'm still pretty devastated about my psychotic meltdown with my folks. I've spent a lot of time wondering how and why these things occur. The bottom line is that i love my parents endlessly, and i miss them a whole lot.

It baffles me that while it is only 10:09 am on payday, I am already broke until next week. There are ways that i can be more responsible with money so for peace of mind and the sake of emotional maturity (not my strong suit), I'm really going to try to live well within my means.

I started taking work too seriously, allowing politics and attitudes that are everywhere in that place to get the better of me, completely flying in the face of the reason that i love my job - low stress, no pressure, dirtbag easy. All those things still apply, and i have to embrace them because overall i've got a pretty good thing going on there.

OK well, I got nothin' here, so that means it's time to examine reserve-deposit ratios and risk premiums and central banking policies. Now that's the stuff of life!!!